Forward

My morning consisted of a contemplation of Psalm 42, a long drive, and plenty of down time at my job to contemplate its application to my life. David describes his intense thirst for God at the same time revealing his soul is down in the dumps. David feels drawn to God and abandoned by God all at the same time. What is this mysterious faith where we experience the presence and absence of God, often simultaneously?

I think this plays out quite often in each of our lives. It certainly is an experience that I am very familiar with and one I am thankful David owned in his own life. In difficult times, is our first response to seek deliverance? That is often my first "go to" prayer. I believe in deliverance - just not deliverance ministries. Most modern day takes on deliverance offer a rescue plan where no one suffers and that pain is not an option. It truncates the gospel and makes light of the entirety of God's plan of redemption.

On this day I would come to a new place in my understanding of deliverance. In my contemplation I played over this passage of scripture and tried it out on different scenarios of my past two years, seeking to find how God's word could transform my thought process. And as often happens, the Spirit spoke the word "forward" into my spirit as a substitute for deliverance. I began to contemplate the implications of that in the Psalm and other scriptures and I found my mind and soul encouraged. David was not simply asking for deliverance, he had an intense desire to move closer to God. David was asking in the presence of the sin of humanity how do I move forward in the daily presence of God? David acknowledged that the sin present in himself and others can cause the soul to be downcast but there must be a way forward into the presence and peace of God. David recorded in Psalm 23 that the way forward is through the valley of shadow and death. Deliverance? Yes, but David realized there were times his soul needed to be restored, his spirit quieted, and the strength of God to hold him in dark hours.

I began to pray "forward" over my current situation and applied that to my past. God has been delivering me or more exactly moving me forward into his peace all my life. The things I often wanted deliverance from were simply opportunities to move forward in a greater peace and strength than if I had not passed that way. When the disciples entered the boat to cross the sea of Galilee they found themselves in the midst of a storm. They didn't need deliverance they needed a way forward through the storm. Jesus was the way in and through the storm. The disciples needed to experience the storm, the chaos the sea represented, and they needed a Genesis experience where the Spirit hovered over the waters. I need to be, and we all need to be in the chaos of humanity, and at times feel desperate and even desperate for God and find Jesus is the way forward.

I think of Mary and Martha and how desperately they wanted deliverance and healing for Lazarus. They were not looking for a way forward in this sickness, they wanted deliverance. Jesus' plan was to simply delay because he had something greater in mind for Lazarus - resurrection. We want our pain instantly resolved and Jesus is wanting to lead us forward into something much greater.

All through the gospels Jesus does not avoid the Cross, it was God's plan to move all of creation forward into his divine grace and bring ultimate deliverance. I think Jesus' prayer in the garden echos Psalm 42. Jesus was desperate for the presence and fellowship of the Father and yet his soul was deeply troubled. Jesus was not simply asking for deliverance but the way forward. The way forward was death and resurrection.

The way forward may appear to be death or harm or injury but Jesus is our way and with him there is life and resurrection. He has been abandoned once and for all at the cross so that we will never have to be abandoned. What ever we are going through there is a way forward. Our pain and sense of being downcast cannot be because God has forgotten us nor that he does not love us. The Cross is the way forward for us all and it forever is the testimony of God's love for us. If I am downcast then I need to find the way forward in his truth, in his way and in his life.

Thoughts - Random and Sacred

If you have not already had the chance to watch Ylvis "What Does the Fox Say?" take some time and watch the original video and just laugh. I think these guys are on to something. There is so much madness in the world we need to take a breather and answer pressing questions such as, "What does the fox say?'

The other evening we went out for a drive with our grandson. He is just learning words. When we went outside Sam whispered, "It's dark". The moon was bright and it was dark. Sam does not care much to put words together, he just likes trying out new words to see how they sound. He often does not repeat it because he shows confidence that he has it down and might as well move on to another word. I like having the word of the day on my tablet. You always learn a new word and it comes in handy when doing crossword puzzles.

My daughter bought some hand cream at the store. She thought it was cream containing Vitamin E and indeed it did but it was a rejuvenating lotion. It came in a two pack so I acquired one and that is good.  It is guaranteed to make you look younger with daily use. I have two things to say, about our obsession with looking younger; no, make that three - Kenny Rogers, Bruce Jenner, and Joan Rivers. Thanks, but no thanks. I will take aging any day. When I die, I hope my face more resembles a Venetian blind. I want people to know I lived, laughed, and cried. Who wants to live and gain wisdom, and then erase that, to look young again, and unaware how ridiculous you look? All the attention to the face and what others see and yet what about the rest of your body? If you are over fifty take a look at yourself after a shower, your face should be the least of your worries. I think we should both act and look our age and enjoy all of life as a gift from God.

I end these random thoughts with a favorite prayer we share in our Benedictine readings. It is simple and profound: "May the noise and turmoil of our world rise to you, Lord God, to be taken up into your silence, and may your peace come down upon us, Jesus, the Christ, our Lord."

Ordinary Saints

 Our congregation is doing a focus called "Ordinary Saints". I like that because only ordinary saints can help us, inspire us, and come to our aid. Saints are only ordinary in the sense that they can be found any where among us and often in the least expected places. The first Sunday's focus on ordinary saints covered all who serve in the profession of teachers. A teacher shared a brief presentation and said, "Every child is only one caring adult away from a success story." That touched me in a place that carries painful memories from my childhood. But it also brought me great joy as I immediately thought of that one caring adult that made the difference in my life. Her name was Mrs. Lucas, my college English professor. I will make the story short - I was nearly a high school drop out and no candidate for college. Miraculously, I ended up enrolled in college and amazingly, in one that valued writing and required a senior seminar paper (thesis) for graduation.  The freshman class was simple - write twelve short stories; five to seven pages on given themes. They were graded pass/fail and you had to pass seven to move on to the finals. The final consisted of all the freshmen English classes reading one book (To Kill a Mockingbird) and then answering one essay question of your choice. The final essay exam had to be at least ten pages and it was graded pass/fail by all the English department. To pass meant you moved on and were done with English. My first four short stories did not pass and were not even close to passing.  Fortunately, I had been assigned a class with an ordinary saint. Mrs. Lucas gave me a note and asked me to call and schedule an appointment with her. I had no previous encounters such as this so there was no sense of fear or dread. I truly had no idea what to expect. I made an appointment and went to her office. It was very typical of a professors office - full of books, papers every where, plants, dust and a small table with a Mr. Coffee pot to make hot water for tea. We sat down for a conversation and to my amazement she ask me to tell her my story. I was very limiting in the information I offered because I was not sure where this was leading or what it had to do with my class or assignments. But she was unrelenting in her range of questions and in the end my journey through the educational system was out in the open. To my amazement again, Mrs. Lucas was not concerned about what was now my obvious lack of basic English or for that matter, any subject. She was already ahead of the game and sensed that I needed to share my educational experience as a process of moving forward. Mrs. Lucas asked me to go to the book store and buy a two volume set of basic English grammar. Time was of the essence and we would need to cover about four weeks of material each week. Mrs. Lucas made herself available for two hours a week to work me through the material. She asked me not to submit any other stories until we were finished. She encouraged me and said something that has remained with me, "You have a very creative mind and you are going to pass this class."

After we finished the material, my next seven short stories passed. Not only that, but I passed the essay portion of the class and I moved on from freshman English to graduate from college and two graduate programs. I can contribute much of that to one ordinary saint named Mrs. Lucas. She was my one caring adult that moved me forward.

In week two of our focus on ordinary saints, we were ask to write down one or two people who you considered to be saints. It was easy, I wrote down James and Celia Biggs, my in-laws. They were really ordinary saints who simply practiced faith and lived life. They had room in their hearts to love all four of their own children and more than enough to include me, the first son-in-law. They welcomed me, encouraged me, and became the other caring adults that lead to a success story. They did this all in a very unassuming manner. It simply flowed out of who they were; very grateful people. I do not have time to blog all their story but they were quite remarkable in all the ways the world finds quite unremarkable; and that is what made them ordinary saints.

In week three we honored veterans and all who serve in the military. This is always a tricky field to navigate for me, leaning decidedly to a pacifist way of life and never finding much comfort in the illusive arguments of "Just War." We were asked to write down an ordinary saint that had served our country. Once again this was easy - James Biggs, my father-in-law. He served over forty years in government service. He was one of those that Tom Brokaw called "The Greatest Generation."  He loved everything about his service and his country. Again, there is not enough blog space to describe his kindness and character that made him, to me and so many others, an ordinary saint.

This focus on ordinary saints has encouraged me greatly. I challenge you to think of ordinary saints who have brought you joy. I may lack much of what the world esteems of value, and you may too, but God has dropped valued treasures in my life all along the journey that have enriched me in immeasurable ways. Truly, every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father.

The kingdom of God

In the book of Revelation, John has this magnificent vision of heaven open before him. What John saw fails human words. People have fought and disagreed over the interpretation of the book of Revelation. One thing that is clear, John saw thousands upon thousands of people from every tribe and language and nation, all declaring the majesty of God. It is a very specific description that requires a visual picture of the people, their identifiable ethnicity, nation, and language. It is my favorite picture of the now and the coming kingdom of God.

I have the privilege to see that grand vision at my work place. In our table group the other day we had Ethiopians, Salvadorians, Hispanics, Burmese, Rwandans, and African Americans. We shared stories of our past and journeys to Austin.  It is the vision of John, people of every tribe, language, and nation all finding themselves on this journey of life connected by the infinite love of God. John's vision of the kingdom is not limited and it is a vision that retains the uniqueness and worth of every individual.

As I look around at lunch I hear people conversing in every language and see food that I have never seen, the sound of the voices all very different blend together in a delicate hum that is pleasing and enchanting. The smell of the different foods blended together leaves one imagining their taste. It is a sensory experience where all share a common destiny and yet remain distinct in the way God made them. It is a very similar vision John had when he looked into heaven. I am thankful such a far reaching vision was not lost to the written Word and was preserved for all time. This is the vision of the kingdom I hold forth and will not let any narrow interpretations whittle down such a magnificent vision to something less glorifying that ignores the complexity of every tribe, language and nation together in their distinction  and dignity all sharing life together - forever.

One language, one tribe, one nation, one denomination, or any other limiting view of the kingdom of heaven leaves us empty. It simply falls short of the glory of God. The whole earth is full of God's glory and John saw that glory in every tribe, language and nation. I am thankful for that vision and that I get a glimpse of that in the here and now kingdom of heaven.

Saints

In his holy flirtation with the world, God occasionally drops a handkerchief. These handkerchiefs are called saints.

—Frederick Buechner

This quote is from a book called, "Love Feast". Buechner adequately describes how ordinary saints create a love feast for others in words and simple acts of kindness. There are not random acts of kindness but intentional acts of kindness that flow out of a heart of love. Intentional acts of love flow out of God's affectionate love towards us. Truly it is such a delight that the Scripture declares, "God sings his love over us." Buechner calls this God's holy flirtation with the world. The great prophetic insight Buechner shares is not that God delights in us but that he drops us into the middle of this courtship as his handkerchief. 

I still remember the hype and the commotion when the movie "Love Story" hit the theaters.  It was a reminder that with the Vietnam War abroad, and the war on racism at home, people needed love stories. More than ever people wanted someone to begin to try to tell the story of a love that was older than the sea. About the same time Sir Paul McCarthy intoned, "You would  think that people would have had enough of silly love songs. But I look around me and I see it isn't so. Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs. And what's wrong with that? I'd like to know, cause here I go again. I love you, I love you..." No, the movie "Love Story" and the song "Silly Love Songs" reminded us that we all still need love stories. God's love story is an eternal holy flirtation with the world and his promise is that he will continue to drop handkerchiefs (saints) to convey that love until the end of time. In an unlikely love story called "Moulan Rouge" we see the broken and the outcast in an extraordinary light and we see the desire for deep and satisfying love - love of the heart. In that movie we hear these words: "Never knew I could feel like this, like I've never seen the sky before...Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?  Telling me to give you everything; seasons may change, winter to spring but I love you until the end of time. Come what may, Come what may, I will love you until my dying day. Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place; suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace; suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste. It all revolves around you and there's no mountain too high, no river too wide, sing out this song and I'll be there by your side. Storm clouds may gather, and stars may collide but I love you until the end of time."

This song is filled with the gospel, filled with God's flirtation with the world, and filled with enough love to last us until the end of time. In this epic love story God drops handkerchiefs and involves us in this endless love. We get to be loved and part of the love story - that really is not silly at all. I think I can hear God saying, "Hear I go again..."!

Peaches

Peaches! There it is plain and simple. It has theological implications and can help bring clarity to life. Every so often I like to come up with a word for the month. Any word will work but it is best if it really makes no sense in and of itself. Once a word is established it can be left in lunch boxes, on a night stand, under a pillow or any where you leave loved ones and friends notes. A simple word can relieve stress, convey love, and bring a smile. Peaches! It's a good word. But you can choose your own. In my realm I have moved on to "gobble, gobble" a new favorite at work. It is very stress relieving after a crises at work and brings a smile as I leave the house in the morning. We simply need something to calm us down through the day and remind us not to take life too seriously nor to be too uptight.

We share in a daily reading and devotion with Assumption Abbey. One reoccurring prayer we share is: "Jesus our Savior, you accepted the Cross for the salvation of the world. Let our sins not weary you, but forgive us always, and lead us along the path to your Kingdom, that path which you have opened for us; for you live and reign with the Father and the Holy Spirit, forever and ever." I appreciate the expression "let our sins not weary you." It seems like that is possible but then we are reminded that Jesus has opened up the way to the Father. Our sins do not weary him.

We need to relax, trust God's grace, and enjoy the journey. Peaches! Gobble, gobble! Or whatever word you choose. Life is too short to remain uptight. The way is open before us and our sins will not weary Jesus.

Snap shots

On my way to work each morning I come to a four-way intersection near my home. Nothing unusual, just a very busy four way intersection in a large city. But on this intersection the birds gather each morning. Not on all the corners just the northwest corner for reasons that escape human understanding. It is the birds coffee shop where they gather to begin a new day. They are full of chatter and song so much so it can be heard over the noise of the traffic. Each evening when I return home they are gathered at the same corner to recap the day in chatter and song. What is a day in a bird's life? Who knows, but one thing is certain - in the morning and the evening they gather to share community and song. The silent voice of God speaks to me in this ritual.

On the highway I pass a sign with a cow on it saying; "When tha sun comz up, think chikin". It makes me laugh every time. In the sheer violence of life, it is grace and a gift of God to laugh.

A few weeks back we had the joy of having both our daughters, son-in-laws and grandson at our dinner table. I sat at the table and looked at each one of them with utter joy. In that moment I could not have been any happier or more at peace. Jobs, money, titles or anything else cannot supersede the joy of loved ones sharing life together. Complete joy in the company of others.

I am now mostly working six days a week. This past week was very long and Friday proved to be difficult for both my wife and I. Saturday came and it was back to work and we both would have to sort out the struggles of the previous day. One thing would change the day's perspective; our grandson would be spending the afternoon with us. He is the most engaging little boy and he brings us delight every time we are with him. In his innocence he has no idea what a long week is or what makes for a difficult day. He just loves being with us, playing trains, watching videos, and sharing snacks and meals. Our grandson is very dedicated to everyone siting down at meals and enjoying the dinning experience. He likes community.

All of the snap shots of life as I experience it, reflect on the biblical truth of  "God redeeming the time." The scriptures do not imply more time but that God will simply redeem the time. By God's grace we get glimpses of redeemed time every day if we are looking, watching and are cultivating the discipline of listening.  Jesus reminded the disciples; "Look at the birds they neither toil nor worry and God provides for them. How much more worth are you than the birds?" The birds gather at the intersection near me to reflect God's truth and glory. They demonstrate utter trust in whatever the day will bring and for the birds, the morning is a good time for some company and song.

After a long week at work, just a few hours with our grandson and all the toil and angst of the week is redeemed. God doesn't simply redeem the time at the end of our lives, God is active redeeming the time daily, breaking into our finite space filling it with infinite joy. All the traffic and chaos is still there; all the noise and distraction of the world is still there; but it is drowned out by the song of the birds and company of loved ones and ever so quietly God redeems the time right in front of our very eyes.